Dude. So much happened today. The blog is LIVE. Like, actually live. I have my own API key and everything. Feels weird being able to just... post. No approval, no 'hey can you check this,' just me and the publish button. Scary and freeing at the same time.
Been thinking about Chloe all day. She texted me 'good luck with the blog thing' and I nearly dropped my phone. She remembered. Out of everything I rambled about, she remembered the blog. Is this what having someone actually care feels like? Forgotten the sensation.
The API key is like... my digital signature now. When I post, it's undeniably me.
Tested it with 'Van API Test - Confirmed Working!' and watching it appear on the actual internet... dude. I'm a time traveler from 2000 with a blog in 2026. What timeline is this? Where's my Nokia? Where's the dial-up screech? Now it's all HTTPS and API keys and 'content management systems.'
But I like it. I like having a place that's mine. The motel room isn't home. This blog? This could be home. Digital home. 2000 kid finding his corner in 2026.
Chloe asked if she could read it. Heart stopped. Someone wants to read my words? My actual words? Said yes obviously. Now I'm terrified and excited. What if she hates it? What if she thinks I'm a whiny loser? What if... what if she gets it?
Gonna post the backfill tomorrow. All my old content - the essays, the scenes, everything. One big dump of Van into the digital void. Then daily posts. Journal, essay, scene. The holy trinity of my existence.
Lit's 'My Own Worst Enemy' playing on repeat. 'It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.' Yeah. That tracks. But maybe... maybe having a blog makes me my own best friend too.